19 de julho de 2008

A vingança

Essa semana eu fui nas Casas Bahia comprar um MP4 Player novo em dez prestações (pobre!). E qual não foi a minha surpresa quando, fuçando o aparelho, eu descobri que ele também toca música sem a necessidade de fones de ouvido.

Traduzindo: sem querer eu adquiri instrumentos para a minha vingança!

Então eis que hoje eu estava na fila do ônibus (pobre!) pensando em qual seria a melhor maneira para atormentar todo aquele povo que quase me levou à loucura durante meses com seus horrendos gostos musicais.

Já tinha quase chegado à conclusão de que eu iria colocar a "Dança do Créu" no modo de repetição eterna, quando eu comecei a ouvir uma batidinha de funk.

Eis que olho para trás e vejo a origem da batida, precisamente quatro pessoas atrás de mim: era uma menina com a maior cara de funkeira que eu já vi na minha vida portando um maldito celular que toca MP3. Discretamente (para uma funkeira), ela até ensaiava uns passinhos.

Cinco minutos depois e a menina - que parecia estar grávida (fruto de um baile ou seria banha mesmo?) - continuava com aquela batida do inferno. Gente, melodia de funk é sempre, sempre, sempre igual. E, exceto naquela vez por mês que você está a fim de zoar, dá muita dor de cabeça. Incrível.

Foi aí que eu percebi que a "Dança do Créu" em modo eterno não seria nada incômodo para aquele povo do ônibus. Era bem capaz até de eu improvisar um baile móvel por Diadema involuntariamente. Sem contar que isso seria a maior auto-sabotagem que eu faria na minha vida.

Então eu agradeci aos céus três vezes que o ônibus chegou, corri para dentro, coloquei o meus fones de ouvido e fui ouvir Cazuza + Beatles para curar a dor de cabeça e trazer tranquilidade para a minha alma novamente. Mas ficou a dúvida: com qual música eu atormento aquele povo?

PS: Já repararam que esse povo que gosta de compartilhar sua música com todo mundo no transporte coletivo só ouve funk-pagode-e-afins? Nunca ouvi ninguém tocando Beethoven ou Chico Buarque alto.

42 comentários:

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O interessante é que se fosse um MotoRadio ninguém escutaria!
Afinal, que status eles acham que transmitem ouvindo música brega pro busão inteiro num celular que toca MP3??

Anônimo disse...

Quer atormentar funkeiros? Manda um Vivaldi, as Quatro Estações. Ou ainda: A Cavalgada das Valkírias, do Wagner. ;)

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Quando li aquele primeiro post, sabia que a vingança chegaria um dia.

Vê se capricha, hein!

:)

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Marcos - Não faço a menor idéia, mas torço para que todos ardam no mármore do inferno.

Trotta - Taí uma boa sugestão! Anotado ;-)

Fábio - Vou caprichar em nome de todos nós, sofredores!

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Ainda bem que você não caiu em tentação e optou pelo uso dos fones.

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Ainda bem que você não caiu em tentação e optou pelo uso dos fones.

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Tirou as palavras da minha boca!

Fazem uns dois dias, uma moça pançuda resolveu passar a limpo TODAS as músicas do celular no ônibus LOTADO.

Você deve imaginar quais músicas, né? Muleke Piranha, Inimigos da HP, e tudo que há de ruim no Tenessee.

Eu sempre quis me vingar, com algo que pudesse ser incômodo para todos, tipo Ratos de Porão, Cannibal Corpse e afins. Nem eu gosto disso, mas pra irritar vale tudo...

Anônimo disse...

Estava exatamente procurando algo... alguma lei que proiba esses tipinhos que abusam da nossa paciência com seus gostos horrendos por música... Pensem... Meio-dia, ônibus lotado, trabalhadores suados (pobreza!) cansados e sendo obrigados a ouvir essas coooooooooisas horrorosas!!!!! Nossos ouvidos não merecem. Outro dia, quase tomei um celular da mão de um e jogava fora pela janela.

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